(Continuing from Part 16)
After the earthquake, I stood outside my shelter, trembling with fear.
The ground had shaken three times, and large pieces of rock had fallen from the hillside. I was afraid that another earthquake might destroy my home.
I had built my tent and cave beside the rock because I thought it was the safest place on the island.
Now I was no longer certain.
I began thinking about moving everything to open ground. But such a task would require many weeks of hard work.
Before I could decide what to do, the weather changed.
The sky became dark, and the wind began blowing strongly.
Soon, heavy rain fell.
The wind grew so violent that I feared my tent would be torn apart.
I remained outside for some time because I was still afraid of the hillside.
But the rain became too heavy, and I finally returned to my shelter.
I sat inside, listening to the storm.
The earthquake had frightened me more than any danger I had faced since the shipwreck.
A storm could damage my home, but I understood something about storms. I had experienced them before.
An earthquake was different.
It came without warning, and there seemed to be nothing I could do to protect myself.
For the first time, I seriously considered whether God was punishing me for my past behavior.
I remembered how I had disobeyed my father and ignored his advice.
I had repeatedly escaped danger, yet I had continued making foolish decisions.
Perhaps I had never properly considered how fortunate I was to be alive.
The next morning, the weather improved.
I went outside and examined the damage.
Some earth had fallen near the entrance to my cave, but my supplies were mostly safe.
I decided that I must eventually build another shelter farther from the rock.
However, I could not move immediately.
I had too many possessions, and I needed a secure place to keep them.
For the moment, I would continue living where I was.
Several days later, I went to the beach and noticed that the storm had moved more pieces of the wrecked ship closer to shore.
Some large wooden parts were now lying where I could reach them.
I spent several days collecting useful timber, iron, and other materials.
I hoped that these objects would help me build a stronger home.
But soon, another difficulty appeared.
June 21, 1660
I began feeling unwell.
My head hurt, and my body felt unusually tired.
At first, I thought the problem was simply exhaustion from working too hard.
I rested for a while and hoped to recover.
But the next day, I felt worse.
I began shaking with cold, even though the weather was warm.
Then I became terribly hot.
My head ached, and I could hardly stand.
I understood that I had developed a serious fever.
I was frightened.
On the island, there was no doctor, no medicine, and nobody to care for me.
If I became too weak to obtain water or food, I might die.
June 23
The fever returned with great force.
For several hours, I lay helplessly in my shelter.
My whole body shook, and I could not stop trembling.
Then the cold feeling disappeared, and I became burning hot.
I was so weak that I could barely move.
I tried to drink water, but even this simple task required effort.
I began thinking about death.
I imagined my body lying alone in the shelter, with nobody knowing what had happened to me.
The thought terrified me.
For the first time in many years, I prayed sincerely.
“God,” I said, “please help me. I have nobody else to turn to.”
I had often prayed during moments of danger, but I had usually forgotten my promises when the danger passed.
Now I felt that I needed help beyond my own strength.
June 26
I had another terrible attack of fever.
I became extremely weak and frightened.
That night, I experienced a strange dream.
I dreamed that I was sitting outside my shelter, in the same place where I had rested after the earthquake.
Suddenly, I saw a dark cloud descending from the sky.
A man appeared within it, surrounded by flames.
His face was terrifying, and the ground seemed to shake beneath his feet.
He carried a long spear.
The figure moved toward me.
I wanted to run away, but I could not move.
Then he spoke in a powerful voice.
“Since all these things have not brought you to repentance, now you shall die.”
He raised his spear as if he were going to strike me.
At that moment, I woke up.
My heart was beating violently.
For some time, I could not understand where I was.
Then I realized that I was lying inside my shelter.
The dream had been so frightening that I could still see the figure clearly in my imagination.
I began thinking about my life.
I remembered my father’s kindness and the many times I had refused to listen to him.
I remembered the storms, my captivity in Africa, and my escape.
I also remembered the shipwreck.
All my companions had died, yet I had survived.
I had received many opportunities to change my behavior, but I had rarely shown lasting gratitude.
Now I wondered whether the dream was a warning.
I did not know whether my illness would end in recovery or death.
But I began to feel that my greatest problem was not simply being alone on the island.
I had also neglected my spiritual life.
The next day, I felt a little stronger.
I remembered that I had rescued some tobacco from the ship.
I had heard that tobacco could sometimes be used as a remedy for illness.
I decided to try it.
I placed some tobacco leaves in rum and allowed them to soak.
I also chewed a little tobacco and burned some leaves, breathing in the smoke.
The treatment was extremely unpleasant.
The strong tobacco made me dizzy and weak.
Then I drank some of the rum in which the leaves had been soaking.
Soon afterward, I fell into a deep sleep.
I slept for many hours.
When I finally awoke, I felt confused, but the worst of the fever seemed to have passed.
I did not know whether the tobacco had helped or whether my body was recovering naturally.
I was simply grateful to be alive.
As I slowly regained my strength, I began thinking about something I had almost forgotten.
Among the possessions I had rescued from the ship was a Bible.
Until then, I had paid little attention to it.
Now I decided to open it.
I hoped that reading its words might help me understand my suffering and give me courage to continue living.