(Continuing from Part 17)
After my terrible illness, I began to think differently about my life on the island.
For many months, I had worried about food, shelter, weapons, and the possibility of rescue. I had worked hard to protect my body, but I had given little attention to my thoughts and feelings.
Now I realized that I needed more than physical strength to survive.
I needed patience, courage, and hope.
I remembered the Bible I had rescued from the ship.
There had been several Bibles among the sailors’ possessions, and I had brought them ashore with my other supplies.
Until now, I had hardly opened them.
One morning, while I was still recovering from the fever, I took a Bible from my storage area and began reading.
At first, I opened it without choosing a particular passage.
My eyes fell upon these words:
“Call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.”
I read the sentence several times.
It seemed to speak directly to my situation.
I was certainly living in a day of trouble.
I was alone, far from home, and surrounded by difficulties.
I had no way of knowing whether I would ever leave the island.
Yet the passage encouraged me to pray.
I closed the book and asked God to help me.
For the first time, I began thinking seriously about what it meant to be saved.
Previously, I had always thought of rescue as escaping from the island.
I wanted a ship to arrive and carry me back to England or Brazil.
But now I wondered whether there were other kinds of suffering from which I needed deliverance.
I remembered my selfishness, my pride, and my repeated refusal to accept good advice.
I thought about the many times I had survived danger, only to return immediately to my old behavior.
I began to regret these choices.
That evening, I prayed again.
I asked God to forgive my past mistakes and help me become a better person.
I could not remember ever praying with such seriousness before.
Over the following days, I continued reading the Bible.
Some passages were difficult to understand, but others gave me comfort.
I especially noticed words about repentance, forgiveness, and trust in God.
One day, I read a passage in which Jesus promised that those who turned toward him would not be rejected.
I thought about those words for a long time.
Perhaps, despite everything I had done, I could still begin again.
This idea gave me a kind of peace that I had not experienced since reaching the island.
I was still alone, but my loneliness no longer seemed quite as unbearable.
I began to feel that my life had meaning, even in this remote place.
As my strength returned, I also began examining my illness more carefully.
I remembered the terrible fever, the shaking, and the frightening dream.
I was grateful that I had recovered.
But I knew that another illness might be even more dangerous.
I decided that I must take better care of myself.
I would avoid working too hard during the hottest hours and make certain that I had enough food and water.
I also needed a more regular daily routine.
For several days, I remained near my shelter and rested.
Then, when I felt strong enough, I began walking short distances.
The fresh air helped me.
I enjoyed seeing the trees, hills, and sea again.
During my illness, I had feared that I would never leave my bed.
Now even a short walk seemed like a wonderful gift.
By the beginning of July, I was much stronger.
I decided to organize my day into several parts.
First, I would spend time reading the Bible and praying.
Then I would go hunting or search for food.
Afterward, I would work on my shelter, tools, or other useful projects.
During the hottest part of the day, I would rest.
In the evening, I would prepare food and think about what I needed to do next.
This routine gave structure to my life.
I no longer spent every moment worrying about rescue.
Instead, I concentrated on the things I could control.
One morning, I took my gun and walked toward a part of the island that I had not explored carefully.
I wanted to learn more about the land.
I followed a small stream away from the coast.
The ground became greener as I moved inland.
I saw trees, plants, and thick grass.
Some places were so beautiful that they reminded me of gardens in England.
I was surprised.
Until then, I had thought of the island mainly as a prison.
Now I began to notice that it contained many pleasant and useful things.
I found several kinds of fruit growing naturally.
Some were unfamiliar, but others reminded me of fruits I had seen during my travels.
I also discovered vines carrying grapes.
The grapes were ripe and sweet.
I ate some and found them delicious.
Then I considered carrying a large quantity back to my shelter.
But I remembered that fresh fruit could spoil quickly in the heat.
I needed to think carefully about how to preserve it.
Perhaps I could dry the grapes in the sun and keep them for later.
I also saw wild melons growing in the fertile ground.
The valley seemed rich in plants and natural resources.
For a moment, I wondered whether I should move my home there.
The place was beautiful, and food appeared plentiful.
But then I remembered the advantages of my present shelter.
It was close to the sea, where I might see a passing ship.
If I moved deep into the island, I could miss an opportunity for rescue.
I decided that I should keep my main home near the coast.
However, I could visit this fertile valley whenever I needed fruit or other supplies.
Perhaps I could even build a small second shelter there.
As I walked back toward my home, I felt more hopeful than I had for many months.
The island was still a lonely place, but it was not completely without kindness or beauty.
I had survived the shipwreck, built a home, recovered from illness, and discovered new sources of food.
I was beginning to understand that I could not choose where I lived, but I could choose how to spend my days.
And so, with renewed strength and a calmer mind, I prepared to continue exploring my island.